Persona 3 Abridged
by Yuki-Akuma-2015
Summary: The awesome JRPG gets an abridged series! Minato thinks he's high because he sees coffins at night. Pharos stalks Minato in his sleep. Junpei always taunts. This is the Dark Hour like you've never seen before!
1. I see coffins when I'm high

**NOTE: As long as you've played past the second Full Moon Mission, this abridged series is spoiler free. Well, for the most part anyway.**

* * *

**Time never waits, it delivers us equally to the same end, blah blah safeguard ch the future blah blah blah however limited blah blah one year go forth without falter blah blah blah let's just get on with the game.**

I wanna see the butterfly again!

* * *

It's a pitch black night in the place I've just moved to. Yet the city is bustling with people and technology. As I walk down the streets I'm listening to music on my music player with my hands in my pockets, like I have for all my life.

Oh right, my name. I'm Minato Arisato. I used to live in a mansion with my parents in a town called Pingasville, where everyone strives for a prrroomotion! Sometime around 1999 they were set on fire by a washing machine and both died from an epileptic seizure. So in the present day of 2009, I'm moving to Iwatodi, a small island in Japan, where I will live in a dormitory and go to school. Unfortunately, on my way up here, Darth Vader, Freiza and Ganondorf showed up and killed me. My story is 100% true.

So now I'm on the train and... oh hey the butterfly again! Oh, now it's gone! Hey, there it is agai-crap it's gone! As I get off the train I catch up to the dorm, I look at my map. The dorm should be just a few blocks away. I actually don't think I needed a map in the end because I just had to walk straight, catch a train and then walk straight some more. But when I get off I'm surrounded by coffins. Holy shit, I'm high.

* * *

"Bonjour! Bienvenue en France!" I hear this little boy in striped pyjamas welcome me as I walk into the dorm.  
"Um… hi?"  
"Vous êtes en retard. J'ai attendu longtemps pour vous. Maintenant, si vous voulez continuer, s'il vous plaît signer votre nom ici."  
"Ah… crap, I don't speak French. Are you gonna translate this at the end of the chapter?"  
"Just kidding, I speak English. Anyways, sign the contract please."  
I look at the contract that appeared on the desk when he snapped his fingers. "I, Minato Arisato, will accept full responsibility for—whatever this is getting boring. I just wanna play the game."  
"No one can escape time."  
"Actually I can, I can just skip the cutscenes. But I wanna play through the game properly so…"  
"Whatever." He disappeared along with the contract. "And so it begins…"

"And so it begins?" I ask the air. "What are you, that lady from Fable? Actually, she says and **so our story** begins, but… it's the same thing really."  
"Who's there!?"  
"SHIT!" I shout startled, then I turn around to find a serial killer. She goes for her gun and tries to shoot me. "Wait, don't kill me! All I've gotten to do so far is enter in my name!"  
"Takeba, wait!" I hear someone else call in the distance. Suddenly everything returns to normal.  
"That was freaky." I remark.

* * *

"I didn't think you'd arrive so late. My name is Mitsuru Kirijo. I'm one of the students who live in this dorm."  
"Mitsuru? But the dialogue box says your name is Redhead."  
"Who's he?"  
"Your name is Burnette, right? Unless the wonderful dialogue box has lied to me once again."  
"He's a transfer student. It was a last minute decision to assign him here. He'll eventually be moved to a room in the boy's dorm."  
"Is it okay for him to be here?"  
"Nope. Imma perv on you. Life is short, let's make the most of it."  
"This is Yukari Takeba. She'll be a junior this spring, just like you."  
_Of course, the dialogue box is just naming people by the colour of their hair! Liar!_ I think to myself.  
"Hey."  
"Question: why do you have a gun? And why the hell did you try to shoot me?"  
"Huh? Well, it's sorta like a hobby…"  
"So, you're a serial killer then."  
"Well, not a hobby but…"  
"One way or another, you're a psychotic bitch."  
"You know how it is these days, it's for self defense." Mitsuru answered for Yukari.  
"Sure it is."  
"It's not a real gun, of course."  
"**Sure** it is."  
"It's getting late, so you should get some rest. Your room is on the second floor at the end of the hallway. Your things should already be there."  
"Oh, I'll be staying wide awake tonight…" I hint. "On second thought, I am pretty tired. I'll just go to sleep then."  
"Oh, I'll show you the way. Follow me." Yukari offers me.  
_She's gonna shoot me. _I think to myself as I walk with her up to my room.

We walk slow as hell to the room, and I'm wondering to myself why in the world mine had to be at the **very end** of the hall. Let's not forget the fact that I'll have to walk this far until I'm moved to the other dorm! Finally, we make it.  
"This is it… pretty easy to remember, huh? Since it's at the end of the hallway."  
"It's easy to remember, bloody hard to get to."  
"Oh yeah, make sure you don't lose your key, or you'll never hear the end of it."  
"Speaking of keys, can I use mine to open the door and go to bed now? I really wanna sleep."  
"So, any questions?"  
"Yeah, I have one. You saw how the moon turned green right? And, the moon is made out of cheese? Does that mean the moon has gone mouldy?"  
Yukari looked at me like an idiot. "Good night." She walked away, then halfway she stopped. "I'm sure you have more important questions, but let's save them for later."  
"That is an important question though! If the moon went mouldy, does that mean you can't land on it anymore? All cheese goes mouldy you know!" She left. Ah well, I should worry about the moon later and go to bed.


	2. My new friend taunts

**Junpei: **We're back! Sorry it took us so long! The followers what there was of the story so far must've started to think the abridged series had been cancelled! Well after four months, here's chapter two!  
**Akihiko: **And now, we'll be providing commentary at the start and end of most chapters! Just us two, nobody else...  
**Junpei: **Keep an eye out for my intro, and my legendary taunt!  
**Akihiko: **And while you're reading this crap, I'll just be training. Maybe I'll throw in an arm swing somewhere...

* * *

**April 1, 2009  
First day of the school year**

Crap, I just remembered – it's the first day of school! Why does school exist? I don't wanna go! Unless it's just like the schools in the anime… oh boy, I sure hope it is!

As I'm getting ready, I hear somebody knock on the door. "It's Yukari. Are you awake?"  
"No!" I call out. "I'm still sleeping!"  
"Really, but you sound like you're wide awake!"  
"I'm not speaking! You're just reading my mind!"  
At that point, Yukari opened up the door to see me up and ready.  
"Oh, look at that, I just magically teleported out of bed!"  
"Sure… anyway, Mitsuru-Senpai asked me to walk you to school. Are you ready?"  
"Oh no, I can find it myself."  
"But, you don't wanna be late on your first day of school, do you?"  
"I can do whatever the hell I want. I have blue hair!"

* * *

One pointless argument later, I wound up taking the monorail to school with Yukari. I spent most of the time on there hoping that school would be just like in the anime.  
Let's fast-forward to when we get to the school. "We're here! Welcome to Gekkoukan High! Hope you like it!" Yukari introduced me to the school.  
"What, are you a GPS now?"  
We walked into the school. "You should go to the faculty office first, it's on your left."  
"Yes, I got it. Sorry to break it to you, but you're not a GPS."  
"Actually I am. I'm part robot!"  
"Wow, really?"  
"No! You'll meet a robot character halfway or so into the game! Now fuck off!" She leaves.  
"Bitch…" I remark behind her back.

I go to the Faculty Office and meet my teacher Mrs. Toriumi, I go to the assembly, and the principal begins his boring speech.  
"As you begin the new school year…" A long pause. "I'd like each of you to remember the proverb…" Another long pause. "If a job's worth doing…" Oh **god** this is boring!

* * *

**After School**

Once school has ending, the moment I get up from my seat, I come across the man himself, the moment you've all been waiting for!

"Sup dude? How's it going?" The student asks.  
"Dude, what the hell do you want from me?" I reply nastily.  
"C'mon! Let me introduce myself at least! I'm Junpei Iori! I transferred from... um... Pingasville."  
I know most of the continents on earth from stuff, and I've never seen or heard of Pingasville. I thinks he's making shit up.  
Then Yukari comes in. "Hey, it's Yuka-Tan! I didn't think we'd be in the same class again!"  
"At it again, huh Junpei? I swear, you'll talk to anyone if they listen!"  
"Well you're the one who's sometimes over here when you could be over there."  
"What?!"  
"You're a stalker, cos you wear pink. Anyone who wears pink or is pink is a stalker!"  
"Shut up!" She turned to me. "It looks like we're in the same home room this year!" Oh joy.  
"It must be fate..." I reply. "...FATE!"  
"Fate? Yeah right." She responds. Obviously she doesn't believe in FATE!  
"By the way... I heard you to walked together to school this morning... what's up with that? Come on, give me the dirt!"  
At that point, dirt randomly fell from the sky and buried Junpei.  
"Uh... You okay in there?" Junpei's head popped out of the dirt pile. "Okay."  
"Dengen, you didn't tell anyone about last night... right?"  
"Nope." From Yukari's POV, it would be pretty embarassing if people found out she nearly shot a person she just met.  
"Okay, good. Seriously, don't say anything about last night, okay?"  
"L... Last night...?" Junpei picked up.  
"Wait... don't take that the wrong way! Listen! I just met him the other night, and there's absoloutley nothing between us! We didn't get it on! We got it off!"  
"So... does that mean you both got down to first base?" Yukari gave Junpei a death glare, which gave the impression she was about to get pissed. "Um... this is really awkward... I'm gonna go..." He ran away and out of the classroom.  
"I gotta go. There's something I gotta take care of for the archery team. You better not start any rumours!"  
"Sis, I'm not. Rumours were only a key element of the story in the second game."

Once she left, I heard a voice ask "Is she gone...?" behind me. He approached me. "Man, that was close! You guys haven't done it yet, have you?"  
"No!" I reply annoyed.  
"Stripped down?"  
"Yes actually, and we did have sex. We were really going at it, you should've snuck a camera in somewhere."  
"A-hah! So you did do it!"  
"You're not very good with sarcasm, are you?"  
"Guess that's another word for me to look up. Who cares about rumours anyway? She's so paranoid..."

* * *

**Meanwhile...**

M. Bison was watching the abridged series laughing all the while. "This is delicous!"  
"I guess you won't be needing those DVDs of Persona 4: The Animation." Balrog claimed, holding up the DVDs. "You want me to get rid of them?"  
"Don't be hasty. Not until I see Junpei taunt... which should be any moment now!"

Junpei put one foor foward, and pumped his fist in front of him.

"YES! YES!"

**JUNPEI TAUNT COUNT: 1**

* * *

**Back in Persona 3 land...**

"But hey... dirt!" Another heap of dirt fell on top of him.  
"Where is all this dirt coming from...?" I ask myself.


	3. I hate giant falling bananas

In my dream, I suddenly find myself going through a door, and in that room, I hear the Penguin from Batman greet me: "Welcome to the Velvet Room, my dear young man."  
"Velvet Room?" I ask. "Are there red velvet cupcakes?"  
He gave me a blank stare but changed the subject. "My name is Igor. ...I am delighted to make your acquaintance. This is Elizabeth. She's a resident here, like myself."  
"Pleased to meet you." Elizabeth greets me.  
"So, you're not the Penguin? And there's no red velvet cupcakes?"  
"This place exists between dream and reality, mind and matter... it's been years since we've had a guest."  
"And it's not very hard to see why – no cupcakes in sight!"  
"If you want cupcakes so badly you can have them once you wake up!" He raised his voice. He waved his hand and that notebook I saw earlier was on the table.  
"Only those who have signed the contract can enter this place... Henceforth, you shall be welcome here in the Velvet Room. You are destined to hone your unique ability, and you will require my help to do so. I only ask one thing in return... that you abide by the contract, and assume responsibility for the choices that you make."  
"How about no?" I respond bluntly.  
"Just take this and come back once you've had your goddamn cupcakes." He gave me a key that felt like velvet fabric. "This is the closest thing this place comes to 'velvet'?"  
"Till we meet again..."  
At that point, the dream ends.

**Uhh someday in April**

**Another day at school**

I walk up to the school gate and run into Junpei again. "What's up!? Man, today is the perfect day! The sky is blue, we're young... What more could we ask for?!"  
"Red velvet cupcakes, for one." I reply.

**After said day at school**

I walk into the dorm to see Yukari and some other guy I haven't met. "Ah, so this is our new guest." He remarks. "Good evening. I'm Shuji Ikutski. I'm the Chairman of the Board. Please, have a seat." He invites.  
"The floor's fine for me." I turn down the offer.  
"No, I insist. There's plently of room."  
"I really don't want to."  
"Just sit!"  
I sit next to Yukari.  
"I apologize about the confusion regarding your accomodations. However, it may take a while longer before you receive a proper room assignment. Is there anything you'd like to ask?"  
"The other night, I saw..."  
"You saw something strange? Like what?"  
"You didn't let me finish!"  
"You were probably just tired. I wouldn't worry about it. Do you have another question?"  
"I don't think I was tired."  
"Then maybe you were too high."  
"That was what I thought. Until I remembered I don't do drugs."  
"You saw nothing! Shut up!" He raised his voice. "You must be tired from all the excitment. You should go get some rest. Like they say in Brooklyn, early to bed, early catches the worm! Or, is it the bagel...?" He left.  
Yukari sighed. "You'll get used to his lame Youtube Poop qoutes."

**The Dark Hour at the Full Moon. Aw, that's when the Shadows attack ain't it? Let's see what they do with this scene...**

Mitsuru and Yukari were monitoring on me and how I am during the Dark Hour. And don't ask me how I know these things if I'm not there. I don't know either.  
"Working hard? So, how's he doing?" The Chairman asked when he entered the room.  
"The same as last night."  
"Hmm... Very interesting. Even those who have the potential tend to be unstable at first... Memory loss... disorientation... But, this subject is rather unique. He hasn't exhibited any of the common symptoms."  
"But... we're treating him like a guenia pig. Not to mention that spying on him as he sleeps is just plain creepy."  
There was a beep on the panel. "Command room. ...Is that you, Akihiko?"  
"You're not gonna believe this...! This thing is huge! Unfortunately, I don't have time to talk... It's chasing me... I wanted to let you guys know. I'm almost there."

One chase scene with the Benny Hill theme playing in the background, Akihiko arrived at the dorm. He slumped down next to the front door.  
"Akihiko!"  
"Ugh... Where's a healing burrito?"  
Akihiko was fed a burrito to heal him. "Get ready to be suprised... It'll be here any minu-" He started choking.  
"This is no time to choke on a burrito!"  
The ground started to shake. "Ahh! You've gotta be kidding me!"  
"Mr. Chairman, please head for the command room! Takeba, go upstairs and wake him up! Then, escape out the back."  
"But, what about you two?"  
"We'll stop it here. You led it to us, Akihiko, so I'm afraid you'll have to fight."  
"But I just choked on a burrito! Fine, I'll do it."

I proceed to leave my room to see what all the commotion is when someone bangs on my door. "Sorry, I'm coming in!" Yukari came into my room.  
"It's rude to just barge into one's room, you know."  
"I don't have time to explain. We have to get out of here now!"  
"What's going on?"  
"I said, there's no time to explain!"  
"I'm not leaving my room until you tell me!"  
The ground shook again. "Just come with me!" Yukari grabbed me by the arm and forced me to come with her.  
"Oooh, this isn't fair! I hate you!" I complained.

We made our way up to the rooftop as the Benny Hill theme song played in the background.  
"Okay, we should be safe here..."  
Yukari jinxed herself, however, when a bunch of the Shadows came and attacked. And suddenly, I'm wearing the S.E.E.S armband, even though I'm not part of S.E.E.S yet. Yukari stuck a gun up to her head and was about to pull the trigger.  
"You're being a bit of a drama queen, don't cha think? I'm well aware of the danger we're in, but why shoot yourself? Those creatures will kill us in a matter of seconds anyway."  
By the time I had finished speaking the Shadows had attacked Yukari, and she dropped the gun. I picked it up, and also put it up to my head. And don't bother asking why at that point my first instinct was suicide.  
"Per...so...na" I pull the trigger.  
**SPLAT!**

_****__Death is not a hunter unbeknownst to its prey.  
One is always aware that it lies in wait.  
Though life is merely a journey to the grave,  
it must not be undertaken without hope.  
Only then will a traveler's story live on,  
cherished by those who bid him farewell._

**ALTERNATE ENDING *Insert record scratch sound here***

"Per...so...na" I pull the trigger.  
A figure appears above me. "Thou art I, and I am thou. From the sea of thy soul I cometh. I am Orpheus, master of strings..." Well shit, who knew a suicide attempt would lead to this? Just then, he started to convulse, and a new creature came out, and cut a Shadow's mask, then it split apart. He grabbed a tendril of it and squeezed it into nothingness.  
"That was freaky." I comment. I proceed to beat the crap out of the Shadows with Orpheus.

**Two hours of battling and destruction later...**

The Shadows were defeated. I had won. "All right! We did it!" I pause and look back at Yukari. "No actually, I did it."  
"Yeah, and you tore down half the city."  
"Well look on he bright side. At least we're still alive."  
"**Look out! A giant falling banana!**"  
I look above and see said banana falling from the sky. "**AAAAAAHHH!**"  
In the control room Mitsuru and Akihiko were in silence from my death.  
"Well at least he got his potassium."  
"You idiot, he's dead!"

_****__Death is not a hunter unbeknownst to its prey.  
One is always aware that it lies in wait.  
Though life is merely a journey to the grave,  
it must not be undertaken without hope.  
Only then will a traveler's story live on,  
cherished by those who bid him farewell._

**ALTERNATE ENDING**

**Junpei: **Stop using that joke! It's getting old and stale!  
**Akihiko: **Way to break the fourth wall!

I didn't get crushed to death by a banana, but I did pass out from fatigue. I'm back in the Velvet Room.  
"It's so nice to see you again. You became unconscious after awakening to your "power." ...It's nothing to worry about, though. So, just relax. By the way... I see that it was Orpheus that heeded your calling. That power is called a Persona... It is a manifestation of your psyche."  
"That's great. Thing is, I don't give a crap."  
"Now listen up, this information is vital! When you use your Persona ability, you must channel your inner strength. The ability evolves as you develop your Social Links - your emotional ties with others. The stronger your Social Links, the more powerful..."  
"What did I say earlier?"  
"Oh, I'll just kick you out now, I've said all you need to hear."

I wake up in the hospital bed. I look to my side to see Yukari watching me.  
"Geez, stalker much?"  
"Well sorry! I was just concerned about you."  
"Yeah, but you can concern about me at your damn home!"  
Yukari got up and stormed out.  
"I wanna go back to the damn Velvet Room. Nobody stalks me there."

**Junpei:** Be sure to check out the upcoming Persona 3 spin-off, _Akihiko Sanada Ace Persona_! Coming to sometime 2013!  
**(No, seriously, I might write that as an actual P3A spin-off sometime. But once I take care of some other stories I'm juggling. Be paitent or you won't be very amused with me.)**


	4. Acrynoms spell out bad words

**Once I fully recover...**

I meet Yukari on my way to school, just before the school gates.  
"Morning. Ikutski-san wants to talk to you today. After school come to the 4th floor."  
"Don't stalk me there, okay?"  
Yukari gave me the bird and walked off.

**After school**

I head back to the dorm, making sure Yukari doesn't stalk me on my way there, and find the other dorm mates on the fourth floor.  
**"Find the computer room!"** Vector the Crocodile shouts at me most annoyingly.  
"Yes, I'm onto that."  
**"Find the computer room!"** He repeats.  
**"Yes, give me some goddamn time!"**  
**"Find the compu-"**  
I shove a computer in his mouth. "Found it."  
Yukari is waiting for me outside the control room.  
"Oh, there you are!"  
"Were you sta-"  
**"Jesus christ, get over it!"**  
We proceed to enter the control room. Ikutski, Mitsuru and Akihiko are already seated.  
"Ah, there you are. I'm glad that you're okay. The reason I asked you here is because I needed to talk to you." Ikutski explained to me upon arrival. "Please, have a seat."  
"The floor's fine for me."  
"Please, just sit! I reserved a seat for you and everything!"  
I let out a frustrated sigh and sit against my will.  
"Okay, let me start off by asking you this... Would you believe me if I said that a day consists of more than 24 hours?"  
"Ooh, you're asking for it! I'll spend all of tomorrow counting the time and prove you wrong!" I got up from my seat and angrily shook my fist at Ikutski.  
"Don't worry, there's no need to."  
"You're reverse psychology won't work on me!"  
"Minato, just sit down!" Yukari ordered me.  
"This is the worst meeting ever!" I complain in a childish manner.  
"Do you remember the night you came here? You had to have noticed the signs... The streetlights went out... Nothing was working... There were coffins everywhere... Didn't it feel like you were in a different time...? That's the Dark Hour-a time period hidden between one day and the next." Mitsuru told me of the Dark Hour.  
"So it's like the Octember eclipse*?" I compare.  
"Basically."  
"Normal people don't realize it, since they're all sleeping inside their coffins. But, that's not what makes the Dark Hour so interesting. ...You saw those creatures. We call them Shadows. They only appear during the Dark Hour, and attack anyone not in a coffin." Akihiko suddenly got up from his seat mid-sentence and swung his arm. "It's our job to defeat them. ...Sounds exciting, huh?"  
"Akihiko! Why are you always like that? You got hurt the other day!" Mitsuru scolded Akihiko for his bad decisions.  
"Now, now. He does his job well."

Akihiko sat back down, questioning why he got up just then, other than to swing his arm. "Long story short, we're the **S**pecialized **E**xtracurricular **E**xecution **S**quad – **S.E.E.S** for short." Ikutski told me the name of the party.  
"Uh… S.E.E.S?"  
"Yeah, well it's better than the first idea we had for a name… **S**pecialized **H**eroic **I**mmediate **T**erminators."  
"Ah, you mean…"  
**"NO!"  
**Mitsuru got up and opened up the briefcase on the table. Inside was a gun. "What he's trying to say is, we'd like you to join us. We've prepared an Evoker for you. We'd like you to lend us your strength."  
"It depends. What's my salary?"  
"What, you mean like a job? You don't get paid."  
"Then screw you."  
"Please, we need your help."  
"And I need your money! But if I can't have that, neither sides are happy! Good day, sir! Hmph!" I storm out of the room.  
Just as I'm about to make my way downstairs, Mitsuru and Akihiko sneak up behind me and pull a potato sack over my head. The next thing I know, I'm back in the control room, this time tied up to a chair.  
"Wait, so this has escalated into a kidnapping?!"  
I get slapped on the face. "If you join S.H.I—I mean, S.E.E.S, we'll pay you…. 500 yen." Ikutski had said 500 yen in his hand.  
"Hm… you drive a hard bargain…" I snatched the yen. "Okay!"  
"Well that turned a bit messy in the end, but it all turned out for the best." Ikutski concluded. Suddenly, a voice ringed inside my head. Before my vision appeared a card. "What the hell is going on?" I ask out loud.  
**_Thou shalt have our blessing when thou choosest to create a Persona of the Fool Arcana…  
_**"What do you mean? What's the Fool Acarna? I didn't choose anything! **Answer me!**" Little do I know everyone in the room is staring at me.  
"You know, he says he doesn't do drugs but… I beg to differ."

**Later That Night**

I was dreaming up more stupid jokes for this abridged series when suddenly I'm awoken by somebody's presence. I look to the side of me to see that kid in pyjamas from the night I first entered the dorm.  
"Any doubt that you're an absoloute creep have been put to rest." I greet him.  
"Yes, I know. And I'll come into your room for many more nights to come. But tonight, I wanted to tell you that soon the end will come."  
"What, the end of the world?"  
"Jup. I remembered, so I thought I'd tell you."  
"Good, my life got really fucked up ever since I got here, and now you're gonna come into my room at night all the time. Hell, now I'm gonna be sitting around waiting for the world to end!"  
"Really? If you say so... Honestly, I can't tell you much about it yet."

**Dawn of the Final Day**

**24 Hours Remain**

"Oh, looks like you've awakened to your power... And an unusual power it is. A power that takes many forms, yet is bound by none... It may prove to be your salvation, depending on where you end up." He told me.  
"What you talkin' bout, Pharos?" I reply.  
"Who the hell is Pharos?"  
"That's just what I'm gonna call you. Like a pet."  
Pharos used Chaos Control to reappear at a different spot in the room. "Do you remember when we first met? I expect you to honor your commitment."  
"I can't honor being dragged into fighting some fucking creatures that turn people into coffins, let me tell you that much." I act more and more rude as the conversation goes on.  
"Remember, I'll always be watching you, even if you forget me. Okay then, see you later..."  
"Sadly, I can't forget you no matter how hard I try."

**The next day, after school...**

After school I decide to play Persona 3 in my room. Yukari opens the door to talk to me.  
"Minato, can you come downstairs for something?" She asked me.  
"Whatever." I pause the game.  
"Uhh, wait a minute... What game were you playing just then?"  
"What, this one? It's Persona 3."  
"Exactly. That's what worries me."  
"I know, video games rot your brain, but I don't care."  
"No, it's that you're pretty much playing the game in the same univserse as ours. You're playing Persona 3 in an abridged series about Persona 3!" She explained the big issue.  
"Oh my god, I can play whatever damn game I want. I'm pretty sure you're the only one who cares."

**Once we get downstairs...**

"Yeah, you just don't do that sort of thing, Minato." Akihiko agreed with Yukari.  
"Looks like it's two against one." Yukari told me.  
"What kind of stupid fucking rule is it that I'm not allowed to play the same game this is an abridges series of? Ask Junpei, he won't give a shit!" I've lost my temper.  
"Speaking of Junpei, he's gonna be staying with us in the dorm from now on." Akihiko announced.  
"What do you mean he's staying with us?!" Yukari panicked.  
"Hey, hurry up." Akihiko called out to the other side of the door.  
"Hold your horses. This is freaking heavy." Sure enough, Junpei came through the door.  
"That's it, this is where I cross the line." Yukari got her Evoker and held it up to her mouth. "That's right, they're for Personas. God dammit."  
_Hmm... Maybe I'm off the hook now._ I thought to myself.  
"I bumped into him the other night. He has the potential, but he just awoke to it recently. I told him about us, and he agreed to help."  
"**You **have the potential? For real?! This is gonna be a very long journey, I can just tell."  
"Well, enough with the introductions. I think we're about ready..."  
"Ooh, we're gonna do something? Sweetness!"  
"With this many people, we can finally start exploring that place..."  
"You mean... Tartarus?"  
"Tartarus? What's that? Sounds like toothpaste."  
"Yes Junpei, we're exploring **toothpaste.** Now go get your ears cleaned!"  
"And by the way... Just a moment ago, Minato here was playing Persona 3, in an abridged series about Persona 3." Akihko informed Junpei, because they totally have to let everyone in Iwatodi know.  
"Woah! Why the hell would you do that?!"  
"**I can't take it anymore!**" I put my Evoker up to the side of my face. Then, I throw it away and grab a real handgun that was just conveniantlly (or inconveniantlly, depending on your thoughts about suicide) lying around.

**SPLAT!**

"Sweetness!" Junpei commented.

_**Death is not a hunter unbeknownst to its prey.  
One is always aware that it lies in wait.  
Though life is merely a journey to the grave, it must not be undertaken without - Y'know what? Screw this onslaught of Game Over jokes. This is, what, the third, fourth time we've done it in just four chapters? It's getting really stale! I just won't bother with the speech next time!**_

"Well in that case..." Akihiko told me, seeing as I just got resurrected for no real reason. "...Stop dying, dickhead."  
"No." I refuse.

* * *

***The eclipse that appears on the 31st of October every year, and looking at it will take you to Octember, the month hidden between the 31st of October and the 1st of November.**


End file.
